ALL-STAR SELECTIONS, 'REALITY'

At home, alone on a Sunday evening, a fantasy baseball Commish takes note of what is happening in 'reality' with the MLB All-Star Game. The rosters, please:

PITCHERS:

Heath Bell(notes), Worceseter

Chad Billingsley(notes), Darwin

Jonathan Broxton(notes), Pottsylvania

Matt Cain(notes), Yuma

Francisco Cordero(notes), Fresno

Dan Haren(notes), Fresno

Josh Johnson(notes), Darwin

Ted Lilly(notes), Black Mesa

Tim Lincecum(notes), Frostbite Falls

Francisco Rodriguez(notes), Brooklyn

Johan Santana(notes), Casselton

Mark Buehrle(notes), Pottsylvania

Josh Beckett(notes), Fresno

Brian Fuentes(notes), Pottsylvania

Zack Greinke(notes), Darwin

Roy Halladay(notes), Yuma

Felix Hernandez(notes), Frostbite Falls

Edwin Jackson(notes), St. Francis

Joe Nathan(notes), Frostbite Falls

Jonathan Papelbon(notes), Black Mesa

Mariano Rivera(notes), Las Vegas

Justin Verlander(notes), St. Francis

Tim Wakefield(notes), Darwin

CATCHERS:

Victor Martinez(notes), Frostbite Falls

Joe Mauer(notes), Worcester

Brian McCann(notes), Brooklyn

Yadier Molina(notes), Darwin

INFIELDERS:

Aaron Hill(notes), Texas

Derek Jeter(notes), Worcester

Evan Longoria(notes), Frostbite Falls

Justin Morneau(notes), Black Mesa

Dustin Pedroia(notes), Black Mesa

Mark Teixeira(notes), Worcester

Kevin Youkilis(notes), Black Mesa

Michael Young(notes), Frostbite Falls

Ben Zobrist(notes), St. Francis

Prince Fielder(notes), Las Vegas

Adrian Gonzalez(notes), Fresno

Ryan Howard(notes), Brooklyn

Orlando Hudson(notes), Casselton

Albert Pujols(notes), Frostbite Falls

Hanley Ramirez(notes), Worcester

Freddy Sanchez(notes), Fresno

Miguel Tejada(notes), Texas

Chase Utley(notes), Brooklyn

David Wright(notes), Fresno

Ryan Zimmerman(notes), Yuma

OUTFIELDERS:

Jason Bay(notes), Worcester

Carl Crawford(notes), Worcester

Curtis Granderson(notes), Fresno

Josh Hamilton(notes), Darwin

Torii Hunter(notes), LA Flyers

Adam Jones(notes), Yuma

Ichiro Suzuki(notes), Texas

Carlos Beltran(notes), Frostbite Falls

Ryan Braun, Yuma

Brad Hawpe(notes), Worcester

Raul Ibanez(notes), Black Mesa

Hunter Pence(notes), Las Vegas

Justin Upton(notes), Brooklyn

Worcester has the most selections of any BARB team to this year's MLB All-Star Game. And they have the winningest record in BARB, so far. Coincidence? The entire Eliminators starting outfield will make the squad! Black Mesa has six selections, but only one is a starting pitcher, reflecting their team's current need. Darwin, by contrast, has four starters on the MLB All-Star rosters. Los Angeles, sadly, has none at present though Mark Reynolds may be added as an alternate. The full breakdown of BARB teams by All-Star selection:

Worcester 8

Frostbite Falls 7

Fresno 7

Black Mesa 6

Darwin 6

Brooklyn 5

Yuma 5

Pottsylvania 3

Casselton 3

St. Francis 3

Las Vegas 3

Texas 3

Los Angeles 0*

FRIARS: ALL-STARS IN MLB!

The St. Francis Friars, a 2009 expansion team, have already cracked MLB's All-Star Game:

RHP Edwin Jackson
RHP Justin Verlander

IF/OF Ben Zobrist

( and on the bubble: 3B/C Brandon Inge)

"PLEASE!" SAYS FREEL, "EASE ME!" *

Brother Johann, public spokesperson for the Concordian Order's baseball operations, made a brief public appearance today to announce that a trade had been brokered between the St. Francis Friars and the West-leading Darwin Finches.

"Apparently," said an ominous Brother Johann, "there has been some discord in our clubhouse. Individuals who have forgotten that they are supposed to be team players are unhappy with their playing time. To help ease this, ah, burden on our spirits, we regretfully announce that outfielder Ryan Paul Freel has been traded to the Darwin Finches. We hope that this will ease the feelings of contention on the club, and help keep Mr. Freel from repeating some of his past errors in judgement. We wish him well in his future endeavors, but we must stress that the organization is committed to virtue, and there is no virtue in putting your selfish interest ahead of your teammates. As it is written, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." (James 3:16)

"We are happy," continued a more ebullient monk, "to note that we have received relief pitcher Brandon Lyon in exchange for Mr. Freel's contract, and in the process we have retained nearly $1.5 million in savings that can be applied to our organization's player development. We are certainly in need of more pitching due to situations with Frank Francisco, Yusmeiro Petit and Juan Salas. Mr. Lyon has had some success in the past, particularly when he toiled for the Melkonian Organization.....we can't remember their team's name for some reason, just the Melkonian Organization. We hope that Mr. Lyon can recapture his past form with the Friars!"


"In the meantime," continued the Head Dominican, "may you know the peace that passes all understanding. Go Friars!"

* OK, if you don't get that, you just need to broaden your horizons and listen to HUNT-tree music. Real HUNT-tree, not that phony 'turbo tonk' the country stations spend a lot of time playing these days.


* OK, if you don't get that, you just need to broaden your horizons and listen to HUNT-tree music. Real HUNT-tree, not that phony 'turbo tonk' the country stations spend a lot of time playing these days.