ST. FRANCIS ANOINTS YOUNG

Chris Young, who spent all of the 2008 season languishing in the minors, became the first player taken in the free agency portion of the 2009 off-season.

Brother Johann, the Club operations director, expressed his approval. "Chris is short for Christopher," the Head Friar noted, "and St. Christopher is well-known as the patron saint of travelers. Chris Young is a well-traveled young man already, but we hope that in the future all of his wondering will be in our club's spacious outfield. We feel blessed to have added his talents to our club, and we do not anticipate that he will spend time in the minors, even though he has been signed as such. He is simply ready to play regularly. His selection rights what we feel is a wrong, because BARB owners need to be able to appreciate a player with his power, grace and speed."

Comparing 'Chrises':

compared with

St. Christopher:

THE HEAD FRIAR

INTRODUCING BROTHER JOHANN
INTRODUCING BROTHER JOHANN

The St. Francis Friars, the 2009 expansion team entry into BARB, has introduced its chief operating officer and signaled a different operational model for the Friars as compared with other franchises. That officer, Brother Johann, is a Friar in the recently-convened Concordian Order, an offshoot of the Dominican order of friars influenced by the thought of Albertus Magnus. While the franchise will employ many regular baseball people, and the GM remains the elusive Scott Hatfield, the day-to-day operations of the franchise will take its lead from the order, which emphasizes charity, education and open-mindedness.

"As Paul said," Brother Johann quoted, "charity bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and bears all things. We have the greatest of gifts in charity, by which I mean the sort of love that the Creator bears for all of creation. A baseball field is like a clearing in a vast wood, another vision of Eden. We view this task as symbolic of our calling to pursue union with the Creator, and restore what was obscured in the Fall."

As veteran baseball scribes scratched their heads (and more than a few turned their Blackberries or I-Phones to wikipedia), Brother Johann introduced the players, castoff from their 2007 BARB teams, that make up the nucleus of this year's expansion team:

C Ronnie Paulino
C/IF Brandon Inge

IF Felipe Lopez
IF Nick Punto
SS Cesar Izturis
IF/OF Ryan Freel
IF/OF Casey Blake
IF/OF Ben Zobrist
OF Johnny Damon

RHP Kyle Davies
RHP Gavin Floyd
RHP Frank Francisco
RHP Freddy Garcia
RHP Edwin Jackson
RHP Yusmeiro Petit
RHP Chris Ray
RHP Juan Salas

LHP Jamie Moyer
LHP George Sherrill
LHP Jason Vargas

"With these young men, we will make our stand and do the work we have been called to do," concluded Brother Johann, with obvious satisfaction.

INTRODUCING BROTHER JOHANN