'Trader' Jack McKeon, the 79-year-old Special Advisor to the St. Francis Friars ballclub, was essentially given full-time duties by Brother Johann and the rest of the Friars Board of Directors in a top-secret meeting late Friday, following the club's fifth loss in their last six games dropped them four games under .500 and increasingly out of contention in the Central Division.
McKeon's response? "Kill them all," said the cigar-chomping baseball lifer, "if they can't help us get better. There are no untouchables in my world, and with plenty of payroll to spare, there is no player in the league I'm not willing to touch to make the right deals happen!"
To show that McKeon means business, he personally fired manager Felipe Alou, who had been brought in with the original management team but had shown little willingness to work with the club's young players despite a solid reputation of building careers with the Expos. "I have a lot of respect for Felipe, but in this business, we're all hired to be fired," McKeon said by way of not providing an explanation. McKeon indicated that third-base coach Mark Loretta would serve as interim manager until another could be found.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
ROSTER MOVES, HIRES
FRIARS STREAMLINE ROSTER
FRIARS STREAMLINE ROSTER
A pair of
deals with BARB clubs has the St. Francis Friars feeling better than they’ve ever felt about their ballclub, and they were made in large part due to the savvy of the club’s new Special Advisor, 79-year-old Jack McKeon.
McKeon, whose nickname is ‘Trader Jack’, helped engineer the deals to streamline their increasingly talent-laden roster for Opening Day.
Dealt: OF Lastings Milledge, C Ronnie Paulino, LHP prospect Tony Sipp and RHP Chris Ray
Received: C Bengie Molina, OF prospect Aaron Cunningham, 1B Daniel Murphy and LHP Garrett Olson
The new roster:
C Bengie Molina
1B Adam LaRoche (R) / Casey Blake (L)
2B Ben Zobrist (R) / Felipe Lopez (L)
SS Alexei Ramirez
3B Casey Blake (R) / Andy LaRoche (L)
LF Johnny Damon (R) / Carlos Quentin (L)
CF Shin Soo-Choo (R) / Chris Young (L)
RF Carlos Quentin (R) / Shin Soo-Choo
DH Johnny Damon (R) / Scott Hairston (R)
Bench: C Rod Barajas, SS Cesar Izturis, IF LaRoche, IF Lopez, OF Hairston, OF Young
SP: Arroyo, Oswalt, De La Rosa (L), Floyd, Moyer (L)
Long Men / Spot Starter: Micah Owings (R), Jason Vargas (L)
Bullpen: Frank Francisco (R), Brandon Lyon (R), Pedro Feliciano (L), George Sherrill (L)
For the first time in their history, the Friars actually sported more pitching depth than they could take north. Despite decent springs, RHP Fausto Carmona, RHP Randy Wells, RHP Joel Zumaya and LHP Clayton Richard all remained behind due to a numbers game. C Taylor Teagarden, LHP Garrett Olson and RHP Chris Young failed to distinguish themselves and were sent to extended spring training, while the just-acquired Murphy was placed on the DL.
McKeon’s take was frank and to-the-point. Chomping on a freshly-lit Havana, ‘Trader Jack’ growled, “I didn’t get the nickname I got by pussyfooting around. I was a GM before any of you guys had a first date.” This was accompanied by a gesture in the direction of a (red-faced?) Brother Johann, the CEO of the religious order-backed club.
“Ah,” the Head Friar temporized, “You of course know we took vows of celibacy?”
“I’ve read the papers recently,” McKeon shot back. “I think you should keep those vows. Me, I’m an animal when it comes to player movement. Lastings is a good player, can play all four OF slots, but we didn’t have a place for him in St. Francis. He should make a contribution for Worcester. The Murphy and Olson are organizational players, they should be lucky to have a job. Molina’s going to start for us, of course, but he is no spring chicken and he could be had for the right offer. Shoot, I don’t like to think anyone can’t be moved!”
LORETTA ADDED TO COACHING STAFF
Recently-retired IF Mark Loretta will join the club as the Friar’s new third-base coach after finishing his career with the Frostbite Falls Flying Squirrels. Former coach Glenn Hoffman was expected to take an assignment as a roving minor-league instructor, and McKeon signaled that they might continue to fiddle with the coaching staff through the month of May.
FRIARS STREAMLINE ROSTER
FRIARS STREAMLINE ROSTER
A pair of
deals with BARB clubs has the St. Francis Friars feeling better than they’ve ever felt about their ballclub, and they were made in large part due to the savvy of the club’s new Special Advisor, 79-year-old Jack McKeon.McKeon, whose nickname is ‘Trader Jack’, helped engineer the deals to streamline their increasingly talent-laden roster for Opening Day.
Dealt: OF Lastings Milledge, C Ronnie Paulino, LHP prospect Tony Sipp and RHP Chris Ray
Received: C Bengie Molina, OF prospect Aaron Cunningham, 1B Daniel Murphy and LHP Garrett Olson
The new roster:
C Bengie Molina
1B Adam LaRoche (R) / Casey Blake (L)
2B Ben Zobrist (R) / Felipe Lopez (L)
SS Alexei Ramirez
3B Casey Blake (R) / Andy LaRoche (L)
LF Johnny Damon (R) / Carlos Quentin (L)
CF Shin Soo-Choo (R) / Chris Young (L)
RF Carlos Quentin (R) / Shin Soo-Choo
DH Johnny Damon (R) / Scott Hairston (R)
Bench: C Rod Barajas, SS Cesar Izturis, IF LaRoche, IF Lopez, OF Hairston, OF Young
SP: Arroyo, Oswalt, De La Rosa (L), Floyd, Moyer (L)
Long Men / Spot Starter: Micah Owings (R), Jason Vargas (L)
Bullpen: Frank Francisco (R), Brandon Lyon (R), Pedro Feliciano (L), George Sherrill (L)
For the first time in their history, the Friars actually sported more pitching depth than they could take north. Despite decent springs, RHP Fausto Carmona, RHP Randy Wells, RHP Joel Zumaya and LHP Clayton Richard all remained behind due to a numbers game. C Taylor Teagarden, LHP Garrett Olson and RHP Chris Young failed to distinguish themselves and were sent to extended spring training, while the just-acquired Murphy was placed on the DL.
McKeon’s take was frank and to-the-point. Chomping on a freshly-lit Havana, ‘Trader Jack’ growled, “I didn’t get the nickname I got by pussyfooting around. I was a GM before any of you guys had a first date.” This was accompanied by a gesture in the direction of a (red-faced?) Brother Johann, the CEO of the religious order-backed club.
“Ah,” the Head Friar temporized, “You of course know we took vows of celibacy?”
“I’ve read the papers recently,” McKeon shot back. “I think you should keep those vows. Me, I’m an animal when it comes to player movement. Lastings is a good player, can play all four OF slots, but we didn’t have a place for him in St. Francis. He should make a contribution for Worcester. The Murphy and Olson are organizational players, they should be lucky to have a job. Molina’s going to start for us, of course, but he is no spring chicken and he could be had for the right offer. Shoot, I don’t like to think anyone can’t be moved!”
LORETTA ADDED TO COACHING STAFF
Recently-retired IF Mark Loretta will join the club as the Friar’s new third-base coach after finishing his career with the Frostbite Falls Flying Squirrels. Former coach Glenn Hoffman was expected to take an assignment as a roving minor-league instructor, and McKeon signaled that they might continue to fiddle with the coaching staff through the month of May.
FRIARS STREAMLINE ROSTER
Sunday, April 11, 2010
ST. FRANCIS FRIARS: A NEW OUTLOOK
INTRODUCING BROTHER JOHANN
BROTHER JOHANN SPEAKS!
Brother Johann is the chief operating officers of the St. Francis Friars, the 2009 expansion team entry into BARB. The Friars are actual monastic order, an offshoot of the Dominicans and influenced by the thought of Albertus Magnus.
While the GM remains the elusive Scott Hatfield, the day-to-day operations of the franchise will take its lead from the order, which emphasizes charity, education and open-mindedness.
"As Paul said," Brother Johann quoted, "charity bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and bears all things. As we are surrounded by the return of spring, our hearts turn once again to the sound of bat on ball. We believe that last season was a proving ground. For He is like a refiner's fire! Our roster has changed, and we ask you to consider the work that has been done since last season began!"
Veteran baseball scribes sighed, as usual, at the flowery pronouncements of the Head Friar, but it had to be admitted that a whiteboard diagram held up in the middle of the room did show evidence of serious change. On the right, in green, is listed the 2009 Opening Day Roster and next to, with new acquisitions bolded in red, is the 25 men projected to open with the parent club this season. It is clear that the 2010 Friars will be more than a collection of castoffs.
Catching:
C Ronnie Paulino C Rod Barajas
C/IF Brandon Inge C Ronnie Paulino
Infield:
IF Felipe Lopez 1B Adam LaRoche (RH) / Casey Blake (LH)
IF Nick Punto 2B Ben Zobrist (RH) / Felipe Lopez (LH)
SS Cesar Izturis SS Alexei Ramirez
IF/OF Ryan Freel 3B Casey Blake (RH) / Andy LaRoche (LH)
Outfield/DH:
IF/OF Casey Blake LF Johnny Damon (RH) / Carlos Quentin (LH)
IF/OF Ben Zobrist CF Shin Soo-Choo (RH) / Ben Zobrist (LH)
OF Johnny Damon RF Carlos Quentin (RH) /Shin Soo-Choo (LH)
DH Johnny Damon (RH-LH)
Bench:
Virtually none. C Taylor Teagarden
IF Cesar Izturis
2B Felipe Lopez
OF Chris Young
OF Scott Hairston
Starting Pitchers:
RHP Justin Verlander RHP Roy Oswalt
RHP Kyle Davies RHP Jorge De La Rosa
RHP Gavin Floyd RHP Bronson Arroyo
RHP Edwin Jackson RHP Gavin Floyd
LHP Jamie Moyer LHP Jamie Moyer
Bullpen/Reserves:
RHP Yusmeiro Petit AAA: RHP Chris Young
RHP Chris Ray AAA: RHP Fausto Carmona
RHP Juan Salas AAA: RHP Randy Wells
RHP Frank Francisco AAA: LHP Tony Sipp
LHP George Sherrill
LHP Jason Vargas long men: Jason Vargas, Micah Owings
setup: George Sherrill, Pedro Feliciano, Brandon Lyon
closer(s): Joel Zumaya, Frank Francisco
What a huge difference from a year ago, especially when you consider the stockpile of prospects now in the system: C Jesus Montero and J.P. Arecebia, IF Brett Lawrie and Todd Frazier, 3B Pedro Alvarez, RHP Kyle Drabek and Shelby Miller, LHP Tyler Matzek, Mike Montgomery and Clayton Richard
INTRODUCING BROTHER JOHANN
BROTHER JOHANN SPEAKS!
Brother Johann is the chief operating officers of the St. Francis Friars, the 2009 expansion team entry into BARB. The Friars are actual monastic order, an offshoot of the Dominicans and influenced by the thought of Albertus Magnus. While the GM remains the elusive Scott Hatfield, the day-to-day operations of the franchise will take its lead from the order, which emphasizes charity, education and open-mindedness.
"As Paul said," Brother Johann quoted, "charity bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and bears all things. As we are surrounded by the return of spring, our hearts turn once again to the sound of bat on ball. We believe that last season was a proving ground. For He is like a refiner's fire! Our roster has changed, and we ask you to consider the work that has been done since last season began!"
Veteran baseball scribes sighed, as usual, at the flowery pronouncements of the Head Friar, but it had to be admitted that a whiteboard diagram held up in the middle of the room did show evidence of serious change. On the right, in green, is listed the 2009 Opening Day Roster and next to, with new acquisitions bolded in red, is the 25 men projected to open with the parent club this season. It is clear that the 2010 Friars will be more than a collection of castoffs.
Catching:
C Ronnie Paulino C Rod Barajas
C/IF Brandon Inge C Ronnie Paulino
Infield:
IF Felipe Lopez 1B Adam LaRoche (RH) / Casey Blake (LH)
IF Nick Punto 2B Ben Zobrist (RH) / Felipe Lopez (LH)
SS Cesar Izturis SS Alexei Ramirez
IF/OF Ryan Freel 3B Casey Blake (RH) / Andy LaRoche (LH)
Outfield/DH:
IF/OF Casey Blake LF Johnny Damon (RH) / Carlos Quentin (LH)
IF/OF Ben Zobrist CF Shin Soo-Choo (RH) / Ben Zobrist (LH)
OF Johnny Damon RF Carlos Quentin (RH) /Shin Soo-Choo (LH)
DH Johnny Damon (RH-LH)
Bench:
Virtually none. C Taylor Teagarden
IF Cesar Izturis
2B Felipe Lopez
OF Chris Young
OF Scott Hairston
Starting Pitchers:
RHP Justin Verlander RHP Roy Oswalt
RHP Kyle Davies RHP Jorge De La Rosa
RHP Gavin Floyd RHP Bronson Arroyo
RHP Edwin Jackson RHP Gavin Floyd
LHP Jamie Moyer LHP Jamie Moyer
Bullpen/Reserves:
RHP Yusmeiro Petit AAA: RHP Chris Young
RHP Chris Ray AAA: RHP Fausto Carmona
RHP Juan Salas AAA: RHP Randy Wells
RHP Frank Francisco AAA: LHP Tony Sipp
LHP George Sherrill
LHP Jason Vargas long men: Jason Vargas, Micah Owings
setup: George Sherrill, Pedro Feliciano, Brandon Lyon
closer(s): Joel Zumaya, Frank Francisco
What a huge difference from a year ago, especially when you consider the stockpile of prospects now in the system: C Jesus Montero and J.P. Arecebia, IF Brett Lawrie and Todd Frazier, 3B Pedro Alvarez, RHP Kyle Drabek and Shelby Miller, LHP Tyler Matzek, Mike Montgomery and Clayton Richard
INTRODUCING BROTHER JOHANN
Sunday, October 11, 2009
FRIARS REFLECT ON 2009
Having formally been eliminated from the 2009 pennant chase, the expansion Friars released a soul-searching evaluation of how things have gone. Courtesy of Brother Johann, here it is:
"Blessings and peace be to all you. We thank you for providing us the sort of spirited competition that brings out the best in all of us. As scripture says, 'iron sharpeneth iron.'
As we look back on this season, we have some definite pluses. Ben Zobrist (or as we like to call him, 'Zorilla') emerged as a regular. His versatility has been a thing to behold. We definitely agree with our ballclub, which has named Ben our team MVP. To celebrate, we will be holding 'Ben Zobrist Night' in the near future, and perhaps allow Ben to play multiple positions as an exciting enticement to our appreciative fans."
"We are also please with the development of Shin-Soo Choo, who recently became the first Korean-born major-league player to have a 20-20 season. As we see it, 'Big League Choo' (as we like to call him) will be the club's regular RF in 2010, and we look forward to seeing how he develops. We have received assurances from the South Korean government that Mr. Choo's military obligations will not interfere with his development.
"We believe that, if you can excuse the expression, that our drafting Justin Verlander in this year's draft was a steal. His AL-leading wins and strikeouts give us a staff ace that we can build around in the 2010 season."
"Finally, our biggest (and, we hope, best) move was doubtless the acquisition of Carlos Quentin in a trade with Los Angeles. Quentin, or (as we like to call him) 'Qu-perman', shows great potential as a run producer. A three-sport star in high school, Quentin is also an outstanding student of the game, as befits a Stanford grad. We think his big arm will play well in LF for the next few seasons to come. If we are right, Quentin is a 30-HR, 120-RBI machine waiting to happen, not the injury-slowed player we saw in 2009."
"Overall, our lineup is much improved. We had a pair of 20-HR hitters when the season began, and now we arguably have 5-6. We had no .300 hitters; now we have at least two, and we have also acquired four prospects and two former phenoms to build on for next year. Our rebuilt bullpen of Sherrill, Lyons and Francisco (while unheralded) was solid in the second half."
NOT ALL ROSY
"But, we must be accountable for our decisions that did not work out, if we are to be considered good stewards. I am afraid that Hank Blalock's power was largely negated by his free-swinging ways. Lyle Overbay was perhaps asked too much of in the run production department, as well, and Cesar Izturis was hurt so much he couldn't even keep the SS seat warm for 'The Cuban Missile' (Alexei Ramirez). These players, sadly, are unlikely to return to the Friars next season."
"Also sad: the failure to produce a real bonafide regular catcher. St. Francis could only shuffle in journeymen and prospects who weren't ready. RHP Gavin Floyd regressed to his pre-2008 form, and the club was forced to deal RHP Edwin Jackson in the Quentin deal. There is a huge dropoff in the rotation after Mr. Verlander, a general lack of pitching depth and bench strength, all of which must be seriously upgraded if the club is to contend."
"Perhaps the saddest of all things was to see so little interest in veteran LHP Randy Johnson and Jamie Moyer, who were being counted on as bargaining chips to contending clubs in the second half but who elicited little interest. This was clearly the biggest strategic blunder of our office, and we will think twice before adding more aging veterans to our roster."
"Blessings and peace be to all you. We thank you for providing us the sort of spirited competition that brings out the best in all of us. As scripture says, 'iron sharpeneth iron.'
As we look back on this season, we have some definite pluses. Ben Zobrist (or as we like to call him, 'Zorilla') emerged as a regular. His versatility has been a thing to behold. We definitely agree with our ballclub, which has named Ben our team MVP. To celebrate, we will be holding 'Ben Zobrist Night' in the near future, and perhaps allow Ben to play multiple positions as an exciting enticement to our appreciative fans."
"We are also please with the development of Shin-Soo Choo, who recently became the first Korean-born major-league player to have a 20-20 season. As we see it, 'Big League Choo' (as we like to call him) will be the club's regular RF in 2010, and we look forward to seeing how he develops. We have received assurances from the South Korean government that Mr. Choo's military obligations will not interfere with his development.
"We believe that, if you can excuse the expression, that our drafting Justin Verlander in this year's draft was a steal. His AL-leading wins and strikeouts give us a staff ace that we can build around in the 2010 season."
"Finally, our biggest (and, we hope, best) move was doubtless the acquisition of Carlos Quentin in a trade with Los Angeles. Quentin, or (as we like to call him) 'Qu-perman', shows great potential as a run producer. A three-sport star in high school, Quentin is also an outstanding student of the game, as befits a Stanford grad. We think his big arm will play well in LF for the next few seasons to come. If we are right, Quentin is a 30-HR, 120-RBI machine waiting to happen, not the injury-slowed player we saw in 2009."
"Overall, our lineup is much improved. We had a pair of 20-HR hitters when the season began, and now we arguably have 5-6. We had no .300 hitters; now we have at least two, and we have also acquired four prospects and two former phenoms to build on for next year. Our rebuilt bullpen of Sherrill, Lyons and Francisco (while unheralded) was solid in the second half."
NOT ALL ROSY
"But, we must be accountable for our decisions that did not work out, if we are to be considered good stewards. I am afraid that Hank Blalock's power was largely negated by his free-swinging ways. Lyle Overbay was perhaps asked too much of in the run production department, as well, and Cesar Izturis was hurt so much he couldn't even keep the SS seat warm for 'The Cuban Missile' (Alexei Ramirez). These players, sadly, are unlikely to return to the Friars next season."
"Also sad: the failure to produce a real bonafide regular catcher. St. Francis could only shuffle in journeymen and prospects who weren't ready. RHP Gavin Floyd regressed to his pre-2008 form, and the club was forced to deal RHP Edwin Jackson in the Quentin deal. There is a huge dropoff in the rotation after Mr. Verlander, a general lack of pitching depth and bench strength, all of which must be seriously upgraded if the club is to contend."
"Perhaps the saddest of all things was to see so little interest in veteran LHP Randy Johnson and Jamie Moyer, who were being counted on as bargaining chips to contending clubs in the second half but who elicited little interest. This was clearly the biggest strategic blunder of our office, and we will think twice before adding more aging veterans to our roster."
Sunday, July 5, 2009
ALL-STAR SELECTIONS, 'REALITY'
At home, alone on a Sunday evening, a fantasy baseball Commish takes note of what is happening in 'reality' with the MLB All-Star Game. The rosters, please:
PITCHERS:
Heath Bell(notes), Worceseter
Chad Billingsley(notes),
Jonathan Broxton(notes), Pottsylvania
Francisco Cordero(notes),
Josh Johnson(notes),
Tim Lincecum(notes),
Francisco Rodriguez(notes),
Johan Santana(notes), Casselton
Mark Buehrle(notes), Pottsylvania
Josh Beckett(notes),
Brian Fuentes(notes), Pottsylvania
Zack Greinke(notes),
Roy Halladay(notes),
Felix Hernandez(notes),
Edwin Jackson(notes), St. Francis
Joe Nathan(notes),
Jonathan Papelbon(notes), Black Mesa
Mariano Rivera(notes),
Justin Verlander(notes), St. Francis
Tim Wakefield(notes),
CATCHERS:
Victor Martinez(notes),
Brian McCann(notes),
Yadier Molina(notes),
INFIELDERS:
Aaron Hill(notes),
Derek Jeter(notes),
Evan Longoria(notes),
Justin Morneau(notes), Black Mesa
Dustin Pedroia(notes), Black Mesa
Mark Teixeira(notes),
Kevin Youkilis(notes), Black Mesa
Michael Young(notes),
Ben Zobrist(notes), St. Francis
Prince Fielder(notes),
Adrian Gonzalez(notes),
Ryan Howard(notes),
Orlando Hudson(notes), Casselton
Albert Pujols(notes),
Hanley Ramirez(notes),
Freddy Sanchez(notes),
Miguel Tejada(notes),
Chase Utley(notes),
David Wright(notes),
Ryan Zimmerman(notes),
OUTFIELDERS:
Carl Crawford(notes),
Curtis Granderson(notes),
Josh Hamilton(notes),
Torii Hunter(notes), LA Flyers
Adam Jones(notes),
Ichiro Suzuki(notes),
Carlos Beltran(notes),
Ryan Braun,
Brad Hawpe(notes),
Raul Ibanez(notes), Black Mesa
Hunter Pence(notes),
Justin Upton(notes),
Worcester has the most selections of any BARB team to this year's MLB All-Star Game. And they have the winningest record in BARB, so far. Coincidence? The entire Eliminators starting outfield will make the squad! Black Mesa has six selections, but only one is a starting pitcher, reflecting their team's current need. Darwin, by contrast, has four starters on the MLB All-Star rosters. Los Angeles, sadly, has none at present though Mark Reynolds may be added as an alternate. The full breakdown of BARB teams by All-Star selection:
Black
Pottsylvania 3
Casselton 3
FRIARS: ALL-STARS IN MLB!
The St. Francis Friars, a 2009 expansion team, have already cracked MLB's All-Star Game:
RHP Edwin Jackson
RHP Justin Verlander
IF/OF Ben Zobrist
( and on the bubble: 3B/C Brandon Inge)
RHP Edwin Jackson
RHP Justin Verlander
IF/OF Ben Zobrist
( and on the bubble: 3B/C Brandon Inge)
Friday, July 3, 2009
"PLEASE!" SAYS FREEL, "EASE ME!" *
Brother Johann, public spokesperson for the Concordian Order's baseball operations, made a brief public appearance today to announce that a trade had been brokered between the St. Francis Friars and the West-leading Darwin Finches.
"Apparently," said an ominous Brother Johann, "there has been some discord in our clubhouse. Individuals who have forgotten that they are supposed to be team players are unhappy with their playing time. To help ease this, ah, burden on our spirits, we regretfully announce that outfielder Ryan Paul Freel has been traded to the Darwin Finches. We hope that this will ease the feelings of contention on the club, and help keep Mr. Freel from repeating some of his past errors in judgement. We wish him well in his future endeavors, but we must stress that the organization is committed to virtue, and there is no virtue in putting your selfish interest ahead of your teammates. As it is written, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." (James 3:16)
"We are happy," continued a more eb
ullient monk, "to note that we have received relief pitcher Brandon Lyon in exchange for Mr. Freel's contract, and in the process we have retained nearly $1.5 million in savings that can be applied to our organization's player development. We are certainly in need of more pitching due to situations with Frank Francisco, Yusmeiro Petit and Juan Salas. Mr. Lyon has had some success in the past, particularly when he toiled for the Melkonian Organization.....we can't remember their team's name for some reason, just the Melkonian Organization. We hope that Mr. Lyon can recapture his past form with the Friars!""In the meantime," continued the Head Dominican, "may you know the peace that passes all understanding. Go Friars!"
* OK, if you don't get that, you just need to broaden your horizons and listen to HUNT-tree music. Real HUNT-tree, not that phony 'turbo tonk' the country stations spend a lot of time playing these days.
* OK, if you don't get that, you just need to broaden your horizons and listen to HUNT-tree music. Real HUNT-tree, not that phony 'turbo tonk' the country stations spend a lot of time playing these days.
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