Wednesday, September 24, 2014

KEVIN TOWERS MAKES THE FIRST MOVE

ADVISOR'S FIRST MOVE WITH CLUB IS A BIG ONE

A hastily-called press conference in the dead of night, in a filled press room, began with a stunning announcement that brought the room to a hush.

"Let's begin with the toughest nut in this piece," said Kevin Towers, special assistant to the St. Francis Kansans.  "We are trading Shin Soo-Choo.   He's a fan favorite who has always given his all. He was in this club's founding draft.   He's probably the best player from South Korea to ever appear in the big leagues...but, for a variety of reasons, some financial, some about this year, some about the next....we see an opportunity...and that means trading away this special player, when we are a month away from a possible post-season berth."

A reporter cleared his throat and leaned forward, question in hand.

"The actual trade," Towers continued with a rush, "is as follows:  St. Francis trades OF Shin Shoo Choo, RHP Brad Ziegler, OF Ryan Sweeney and a player to be named to the Brownsville  Cutters. In return, the Kansans receive OF Adam Dunn and reliever Matt Thornton.   Thanks for coming...and no more questions at this time."

Towers literally bolted behind a curtain and the press room roared its disapproval.  "Kevin!" one shouted, "Dunn has talked about retirement!   Can you comment on that?"   Another scribe simply screeched, in disbelief, "THORNTON?!?!"   Bedlam ensued, but it was no use:  Towers was gone, and the full story was obviously not going to be told any time soon.


Choo was unavailable for comment, but probably has to feel abandoned to be cut loose with a month to go in the regular season, after being a tremendous contributor in the first half to the club's success.

Team owner Scott Hatfield seemed sad, but defended the abrupt termination of Choo's time with the big league club.  "Nothing lasts forever," said the Head Kansan.  "We understand what Kevin is trying to do and we wish 'Big League' Choo the very best."


Friday, September 12, 2014

TOWERS TAKES THE REINS

COMMISSIONER HAYNES:

  
  

We haven't spoken before, but you may be aware of the fact that I have been engaged as a special assistant to the St. Francis Kansans in player acquisition, and I am authorized to conduct TRADES on behalf of the organization, effective August 20th of this year, following our stockholder's weekend conclave.